Thug Life
by RadioGaGa0101
Summary: Toshiro was trouble...he had lost everything and everyone along the way, but now that he's beaten and on the brink of death he goes back to the person whom he hurt the most for help...what will his entrance into Karin's life lead to? Only time can tell...
1. Chapter 1

Hitsugaya POV

How had I gotten myself into this again? I'm 28 years old damn it...What idiotic mistake had I blindly made once more to end up in this clusterfuck again? Everything had been planned so thoroughly. It was all executed perfectly. Everything should have been in the palm of my hands damn it…but now I was cowardly running for my life…fucking great…

"You can't do this forever, Toshiro!" A loud and boisterous deep voice roared behind me as I continued to run. Another pair of footsteps joined the fray of bodies that sloshed through the rain slicked alley behind the shabby warehouse district that was my current scenario– just one more person after my head...FUCKING AMAZING!!! It was a maze of old and empty buildings, crumbling at the surface and not much to look at. Garbage littered old paved roads that were cracked and broken in more places than one. What hadn't been layered in graffiti paint had been worn and weathered into shades of grey and rust. This was nothing more than a gang's hideout now and anyone who came here not under the protection of Arrancar, was looking for hell in the real world. Arrancar was the current criminal ring that reigned fear over the night life in Tokyo. The largest mob of lowlifes, punks, traffickers and mafia trash alike, all brought together to form one dysfunctional group under the leadership of a single man named Aizen. It should have been an immediate disaster, yet somehow the motherfucker Aizen managed to bring order to the unlikely rabble and now he was a big shot, force to be reckoned with, and those whom were stupid enough to get into shit were usually found dead, and Aizen was usually found dancing on their grave…which is where I come in. I was beginning to understand through my thick fucking skull that it was fucking too little too late and hauling ass was no way to escape this mob after my ass. I saw a near small corner, and hid in the shadows…man, what was I gonna do if they found me?...shit I had to think of something fast…I couldn't leave, because that just meant walking right into the giddy hands of Aizen and his mob…Well I guess I'm gonna have to fight, and further the injuries to my already fucked up left arm that had a gash the size of the city of Karakura, and I was losing blood fast…I usually lacked commonsense when it came to some decisions in my fucked-up and crappy life, and most probably most of my crappy decisions may not have lead me to this current situation. But I had to think…and fast…but all that came out was 'your fucked bro'…but there had to be a way to somehow still get out of my hiding spot and into a safe haven without further harm…but what? I had to take action and fast, I shifted my weight to the flat of my heels, and pressed my back hard against the wall behind me. My right hand was clenched over the gash along my left shoulder, blood dripping freely between my fingers. The thick red liquid was hot against my hand even as the cold rain pelted down on me from above. It was sickening enough to make me dizzy, I was always squeamish, and the fact that I had lost about a pint of blood wasn't helping my nausea either. The pain wasn't getting better as it turned into a maddening throb and my fingers of my left hand had gone numb…my body was beginning to shut down, and my eyelids were beginning to get heavy…fuck…The urge to take a damn nap was so strong I could collapse right here…and it was starting to be the only thing in my mind…damn it, I'm an idiot….

I had to stay fucking awake…I had to stay alert…My only chance to get the fuck outta here could be a millisecond away…it was either haul ass or die…

The clamor of footsteps was still too close for comfort. Various shouts and hollers broke through the night like the claps of thunder that had come with the rain. They were communicating something between one another, something I couldn't quite hear, something I couldn't fucking understand. My head was spinning now…my ability to think clearly...to identify the noise of rain from my own chain of chaotic thoughts was weakening…the throbbing was spreading from my limp arm, up the back of my neck to stop at the base of my thick skull in the dull ache of an oncoming migraine…fucking great…

Maybe I could rest my eyes. . . Just for a moment…I won't let myself fall asleep…I'll make damn sure of it…

I slowly began to close my eyes. The world around me seemed to take on a darker shade of black as I slumped tiredly to the ground, ready to give in to the exhaustion that was beating at my body. The bliss of nothingness that came with unconsciousness was right around the corner, and I fucking welcomed it…

Only to be dragged back to a brutal and painful reality by the sound of metal scrapping against broken asphalt…shit! My eyes flew open and by reflex only, I pushed myself off the ground, fully ready to run for it. But before I could stand up and run, a harsh strike to the forehead sent me falling to the ground. The crack of my own skull against the brick wall echoed in my ears. As the pain that soon followed, like a thunderclap, made me moan in agony as I rolled of my back and onto my chest as I tried to make a desperate attempt to run for my damn forsaken life.

"I have to cut our ties here, Toshiro. I'm sure you understand." A much too cheerful voice told me, as the said person began to walk towards me, and I tried to miserably flee with the little strength I had before I was kicked in the ribs. I looked up into the blurry faces that surrounded me as I turned from the pain on my back again, in order to further prevent more kicks to the ribs. I couldn't tell one from the other anymore…shit…everything was one big dark blur…but I was damn sure it was Aizen that was speaking…and even though I was in a shitload of pain I felt like kicking his ass right then and there…

"–Money," I groaned, as I turned on my chest once again, and with the only functional arm I had, I began to try and stand up. I was poised to fight until the very fucking end now…my chance at escape was fucking gone…and Aizen knew it...he knew my last resort would be to fight…

"Your money? You mean my money, don't you?" Aizen laughed and it seemed to resonate between the whole group in one big echo... This only made his mob laugh and joining in on the speech. One fucking loud and distorted noise that bounced off the hallow walls of warehouses and assaulted my damn head.

"Don't worry. I'll spend it wisely. It's in good hands now that it's out of yours." Aizen continued, snickering maniacally to himself. And the mob following closely behind him in laughter and footsteps as I heard them near me…along with their weapons that sounded like pipes and chains…all aimed at me…and that was the last sound I heard before my futile attempts to get up was cancelled by the sheer unconsciousness that overtook my brain at that moment…

"Ugh…" I said as I felt a strong light on my eyelids. I was on my back and was laying on something hard, flat and cold…where the hell was I? My mind was completely blank, as custom whenever I woke up from a good night's sleep…except this didn't feel like a good night's sleep. I tried to open one eye, my right eye, but as I did it stung, almost as if ten thousand tacks had been put in my eye…but I had to force myself…I had to find out where the hell I was at the moment…I opened my right eye once again, more forcibly this time, and managed to get it completely open, but once I did I realized that I was staring at an ominous gray sky and not the ceiling of my crappy and small apartment bedroom…what the fuck?...this just didn't make sense…as I turned my head to the side, a sharp pain hit me almost as if someone had hit my head with a cement block, and along with that pain the memories came back just as painfully…shit…I began to groan as my body began to ache, almost as if signaling that I was miraculously still alive…

"Shit…" I said as I realized I had to get upon and get going before Aizen and his mob decided to check up on me to make sure I was dead and finish me off. I laid on my back, and decided that since everything in my body was broken, I had to get on my chest in one swift move.

"FUCK!" I yelled once I managed to get on my chest, but quickly shut up and listened just in case Aizen still had some of his mobsters around. But there was nothing…thank god…I pushed myself up with my right arm, but as I did the simple effort was literally tearing me up as I began to taste metallic liquid in my mouth…great, bring on the blood…I spit it out and continued to push myself up, and once I did I hit myself on my left arm against the brick wall, but controlled myself instead of yelling…tears began to form out of the corner of my eyes as the wind began to pick up in the alley, making me shiver against the wall…great just fucking great…I began to wonder why was I even alive? Why should I even bother in standing up? But I decided that getting out of here was better than facing more of a beating if Aizen decided to come back with his mob to hide my body…not that anyone would bother looking for me in the first place. But this setting should have been comforting terrain for me. I had practically grown up in back allies, illegal street life being a part of my life for as long as I could remember, it was my element, my drug…but like all drugs they got too expensive, and it was either get into more shit or go into rehab…rehab was my definite choice since this life was getting old, and I had lost everything and everyone along the way…and though the street life had good times and bad…I just wanted to get away from both…had things gone the way I planned with Arrancar, I would have bided my past life goodbye…but I was naïve and blind, so blind I hadn't seen it coming. There was no way that amount of cash could have been mine with no strings attached…but there weren't any string that were attached…I had been screwed over entirely…I had been fucking robbed, beat, broken, and thrown on the street without so much as a 'Don't let the doorknob hit your fucking ass on the way out.' And that was where I was…in an alley…humiliated and barely clinging to this clusterfuck I called life. But this whole scenario somehow comes as a half surprise and unsurprised, due to the simple fact that they had left me alive. Arrancar didn't kill unless they absolutely fucking had to. I was only one man, and I was of little harm to them in their eyes. My death would have only attracted unwanted attention from the police towards them…and of course if I was alive I would turn them in because of the fact that I also took part in illegal transactions…fucking bastards…No they wouldn't kill me, they'd only make certain that I never stepped foot on their terrain again…nope, they would only make me WISH I was dead…that was how those mother fuckers works…and they were going to pay…big time…

"Fuck you Aizen." I said in a whisper, since it was starting to hurt to even breathe. As I slowly and carefully pushed myself off the wall as I heard the vague sound of city life drifting towards me, coaxing me from my pain and heinous thoughts. I could hear people talking and laughing…the voice of women and children…of businessmen on their cell phones…street vendors advertising their foods…happiness…sheer bliss of living a normal life…something that I had deprived myself of during my lifetime. I slowly and painfully walked out of the alleyway and into the bustling sidewalk in front of me. As I reached the end of the sidewalk, I looked at the street number on the green sign in white letters '75th'. They had disposed of me in the 75th street alleyway…the fuckers…I was openly aware of all the stares I was receiving from those around me. I was a fucking bloody mess, and if I ever were to see someone whom most probably looked as bad as I did I would have done the same thing. While some people shied away from me, other were kind and pure-hearted enough to offer help. But I turned down each one…because my fucking beat down pride couldn't take another blow from being helped by a worried school girl. I was far from where I had been beaten up, and I knew that I wouldn't even make it close to my apartment in the state that I was in…If I even had an apartment to go back to…considering the fact that I had failed to pay my rent on time, my landlady had most probably evicted me already…I had nothing left to go back to once again…

"Fuck it." I grumbled under my breath as I continued to walk straight into oblivion. I was a man with nothing left to lose now…But why was it so hard to take my defeat and give up? With each step I took and each throb of pain that came along with that step, I asked myself that question. Why couldn't I just give up? Why did the thought of giving up make me want to slam my fist into the wall? I had no answer…I couldn't even make an answer up to appease my anger…But I continued to move on, even if I knew I had nothing to move towards…my mind was already assessing my situation…I needed a place to stay first and foremost…someplace I could rest and heal without constantly worrying if Arrancar was still on my sack. Normally, food would have topped my priority list since I hadn't eaten anything other than my own words in a while, but today I didn't feel the urge to eat. A few too many kicks to the stomach could do that to a guy. My aches were proving to be more than just bruises…but I refused to look into that part of my life, as I made rest and sleep my priority. The desire allowed me to make up my mind and keep me moving. I knew where I was going now and I was determined to get there…and I had my doubts, but I would deal with those later. I had turned right on 67th street and was now a couple of blocks from Tokyo's 'Time Square', and this part of town wasn't my turf…it was definitely the richer side of Tokyo where a higher class of society resided. From the entrepreneurs to the world class designers and businessmen, this was where only the crème of the crop resided…and I had rarely any fucking reason to come this way…and even then it had to be a really good reason…the prices were way too high and I always had the distinct feeling that people were judging me with wary looks behind my back…it always set me on edge when I came here…but this time, this time I did have a good reason to be here. And that was for one specific person…one person who I had cut all ties with…or rather, had cut all ties with Toshiro.

Karin…Karin, was a name that I had not bothered to speak or even think about in the few years we had ended our friendship with one another…but it was my only option now…I had no one else to turn to, and even though I told myself repeatedly that this wasn't going to be worth it, I decided that I wasn't too proud to beg for a woman's forgiveness this one time…maybe I was determined after all…

"Sir, may I ask why you are here?" The attendant said at the front desk once I had managed to barely push the front doors open. I looked at the guy, and continued to walk but was stopped by the said attendant once he ran towards me and grabbed me by my right arm, placing it across his shoulders, letting me momentarily lean on him.

"Sir, may I ask again why you are here?" The attendant said as he looked into me right eye…Shit…

"K-K-Karin…" I said in a whisper, as I winced at the pain speaking gave me.

"?" The attendant asked making sure he had heard me right. "Are you a relative?" He asked, he knew full well that I wasn't but since I was crippled most probably he felt sorry for me.

"Y-Yes." I said before I winced again.

"Alright, would you like to sit down-"

"T-Take me to h-her." I interrupted the attendant as I begged forcibly through the pain.

"Sir, I-"

"P-P-Please…" I begged as I interrupted him once again.

"Alright, I'll take you towards 's penthouse." The attendant said as he guided me towards the luxurious open elevator.

* * *

Karin POV

'You got all the right moves and all the-"

I hit the snooze button on the alarm clock hard as I tried to extend my slumber, even though I knew full well that I had work to do today. I had a photo shoot, and a runway show to plan for my next line. I removed the sheets from my body, and sat up stretching lightly before I brought my feet to the edge of the bed and jumped on the floor, I looked at the clock and it read '8:30 a.m." in bright green letters. I fully stretched once I was standing on my white marble tiled floor and walked towards my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and acknowledged what I had chosen to wear to sleep last night, a blur lace panty and bra set, which matched beautifully with my ivory skin. I walked up to my marble and gold sink, and brushed my mid back length hair picking it up in a high ponytail. I grabbed my black headband on the sink's countertop and placed it on my head in order to pull my bangs back before I washed my face. I turned the faucets of both sides, for lukewarm water, and splashed my face before I reached for the cleanser and began to scrub my face. I washed it off, grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste and began to brush my teeth, after I spit and washed my mouth I grabbed my white face towel on the towel rack near the sink's mirror and dried my face and hands. I grabbed the black knee-length silk robe behind the door and pulled it on not bothering to close it and letting it drape loosely on my body, as I walked out of the bathroom and my room, towards the hallway and down the stairs towards the kitchen where I grabbed my large can of Folgers coffee and set up the coffee machine. As the coffee was getting made, I made my way towards the refrigerator and pulled out a parfait in a medium sized small bowl that I had made the night before, and grabbed a spoon as I began to eat and savor the flavors of sweet fruit and tangy yogurt. When I was done I placed the bowl in the sink and spoon in the sink and grabbed the full cup of coffee that was now done and drank it straight. I always hated sugar anyways. I made my way towards the living room, and turned on the plasma TV, putting my coffee cup on a coaster on the coffee table in front of the black leather couch and changing the channels, until I stopped on the news and set the remote next to the cup. I walked towards the huge windows behind the TV and opened the dark peach curtains revealing another grey and rainy day.

"Ugh, it's so gloomy." I said as I looked out into the bustling streets filled with cars and people too busy to most probably even notice the weather. I turned around and walked towards my couch sitting to finish my cup of coffee. I was about to pick it up when I heard a knock on the door.

"Coming." I yelled as I stood up and walked down the hall that past the entrance of the kitchen towards the door.

"I'm not expecting anyone today…" I said to myself as I neared the door. "Who is it?" I asked through the door not bothering to look through the peephole.

"It's me Dennis from the front table."

"Dennis…why would he come all the way to my door?" I asked myself quietly making sure he didn't hear me as I opened the door…the door I wished I shouldn't have opened in the first place. I saw Dennis and on his side was the man I didn't expect to see ever in my life again. At first I felt a surge of anger and wanted to slam the door in their faces, even though Dennis had nothing to do with this. But as I looked at Toshiro, I gasped pulling my hands to my face my eyes gawking at Dennis whom only looked at me as if saying 'I'm sorry' with his eyes. Toshiro was bruise and battered beyond belief…he was covered in blood from head to toe to the point of his hair now being completely red.

"K-K-Karin." He said as he looked up, pulled him arm off of Dennis and stood up before falling forward. I caught him in the nick of time, and waved Dennis off whom was speechless beyond belief. Dennis did me the favor of closing my door before he left; leaving me standing in the same spot I was in holding the man I didn't expect to see ever.

"Toshiro, wake up." I said as I placed him on my cold floor and kneeled slapping him lightly on his right cheek. "Jesus, why didn't you go to the hospital?" I asked as I analyzed his body thoroughly.

"No…money." Toshiro muttered as he leaned his injured head into the palm of my hand. All I could do was roll my eyes at his response, figuring that punching him in the gut wasn't an option. Typical Toshiro. I should have expected as much from his visit. With a low growl, I got on my feet, bent down, and hoisted Toshiro up over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"F-F-Fucking p-p-put m-me down.." Toshiro groaned as he complained but I refused to answer, holding him still. Toshiro was in no place at all to voice any displeasure at being manhandled and I sure as hell wasn't going to put up with his childishness. I walked towards the living room, with Toshiro slung over my shoulders, he was so tall that his feet were dragging behind me he was 6'0'' after all and I was only 5'7''. Once I reached the couch I threw him; face first, receiving an incoherent mumble and a middle finger to my face. If I had been another person I would have thrown him out into the street. But I had grown accustomed to Toshiro's ways for far too long. I hadn't even noticed that I could brush off all of Toshiro's insults without so much as a second thought. Even under the circumstances, I was surprised I could still do it even after eight years. But this was Toshiro, after all, take it or leave it. The man was a bastard and a total and complete fucking idiot.

"Well Toshiro I guess that buying me a new couch, lingerie, a black silk robe and paying to clean my bloodstained tiles of my apartment would be easier and cheaper than paying for hospital bills." I said as I turned around and turned off the plasma TV figuring that I wasn't going to be able to watch anything calmly now. I turned around and stared at Toshiro whom was bleeding his life into my fine leather couch. It wasn't the first time I had seen Toshiro licking his wounds, but this was the first time I had ever seen him in such a horrid condition. I could have, and should have, thrown the white haired man back out the door and I could have been done with this mess. After all, Toshiro not a part of my life anymore and I had no obligation whatsoever to nurse my former friend back to health. There was also the option of ditching Toshiro at the hospital and leaving him to deal with all the bills himself. It would have been good punishment for all the shit that Toshiro had done in the past, and considering that he had always been terrible with money, it would be a good lesson learned. But then again if I did do that the paparazzi would spot me and print many scandals about me, and I couldn't afford a scandal…at least not before launching my line of clothing, after all the troubles I had gone through for transitioning from model to designer I wasn't about to let all the doors close because of a bloody mess, literally. I let out an agitated sigh and realized that I had to take care of him. I walked towards the guest bathroom down the hall near the staircase and turned on the shower. Once I had gotten the water temperature to lukewarm, I walked back down the hall towards the couch where Toshiro was laying. Toshiro's eyes opened and closed in slow, unsteady blinks, too stubborn to give into the exhaustion that attacked him. I wasn't even sure if Toshiro even knew where he was anymore. When I grabbed him and hauled him over my shoulder again he hadn't even attempted to complain. I reached the bathroom, slid open the glass sliding doors which were now foggy, and dropped Toshiro into the shower making sure I didn't get myself wet. As I stood up and turned around Toshiro was apparently bolted into awareness again.

"What the fuck, man!" Toshiro howled as he turned me around, and grabbing me by my shoulder sending me flying into the flow of water in the shower before I could even react.

"Toshiro! What the hell is wrong with you!" I screamed as I clutched the hand that held my right shoulder captive, and pried his fingers off, receiving a pained yell from Toshiro whom let go reluctantly. But as I stood up he grabbed the same shoulder again, his grip was iron tight even in his poor condition. "Let go of me!" I said as I slapped him hard across the face, making Toshiro fly back against the shower wall, hitting it hard with an audible crack, as he cried out in pain from his visibly wounded left shoulder. A moment of stillness and glares from his turquoise eyes slowly faded to utter confusion while his limp hand rubbed the left side of his face where I had slapped him. Both of us were soaked now, I stood in front of the stream, as it hit my back and he stared at me from the tiled shower floor.

"You slapped me…" Toshiro muttered incredulously, as if the mere thought of a woman doing such a thing was unbelievable. I, myself, was shocked at the fact that I had actually done it. I wasn't violent by nature, even though I took Krav Maga, but those classes were mostly for self defense. But I had never slapped someone before.

"If you don't like it, you're free to leave." I hissed and matched the death glare that Toshiro was sending in my direction. Agitated beyond my limits, I didn't wait for a response. I grabbed Toshiro by his shirt collar, or what was left of it, and shoved his whole body under the shower stream. I was surprised at the amount of dirt and blood that spilled down the sides of Toshiro's face, revealing the mess of white hair atop his head. It had been blood read, with dingy brown spots. I knew that Toshiro was messed up once he head arrive with the help of Dennis to my front door, but I was now realizing how bad it really was. The left side of his forehead was bruised purple and black, and there was a gash along the back of his skull that looked horrible. It wasn't bad enough to be life threatening, but enough that whatever had hit him undoubtedly had given him a concussion.

"Here, let me help you." I said softly as pulled off his torn shirt that clung to his body in shreds. I was about to make a sarcastic remark about how he had gotten so ripped without having enough money to go to the gym when my words were caught in the base of my throat and nothing but air left my parted lips as I laid my eyes on Toshiro's back. What had once been fine and muscularly toned skin was now covered in a mass of dark purple bruises, bright red cuts and shallow gashes that were starting to bleed once again. The dirt and grime was being washed away to uncover just how beaten Toshiro's body was. I unconsciously stepped forward, and began to touch Toshiro's abraded skin, as my fingertips ghosted down the bruised backbone, feeling him tremble underneath my touch. His skin was still exquisite despite the abrasions, and his back was still toned and muscular underneath all the cuts, but the soft swell of bones beneath my fingers spoke of how thin Toshiro had become. I could feel every indenture of his delicately curved spine arching back into my touch as I brushed across a particularly sensitive spot of skin. Broken out of my regression, I still couldn't pull away. I was transfixed on the cuts and bruises, an unnerving feeling coming to settle in my mind, as my hand reached the small of Toshiro's back and I began to rub it lovingly.

"Is it really worth it?" I asked quietly, my voice barely audible above a whisper. These words came hard for me to ask. Because it was the same exact question I had asked myself eight years ago, and the answer had come with nearly unbearable consequences. Toshiro was silent, his forehead resting against the cold marble slabbed wall in front of him, while the stream from my shower head continued to wash all the dirt and blood away from his body. It was then that I finally understood the life he had been living; the answer I feared for so many years…Toshiro had no choice.

"Toshiro, I-"I was about to finish the sentence until I heard a knock on the door. "I'll be back." I said as I turned around and pulled out a white towel from the drawer underneath the sink. "Dry yourself with this when you get out, ok?" I said looking back, but I felt as if Toshiro hadn't heard me since he was still leaning on the wall. I walked out of the bathroom and into the hall as I reached my front door and opened it.

"My Dearest Karin-WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Yumichika said as he came up to me and looked at me. "You look like a wet dog! And we have a show in five hours! What have you been doing?!" He asked loudly, as expected, from him. He was a man who believed that fashion was key, which was why he was the best stylist and make-up artist in the industry.

"I got into a bit of a mess…" I said as I reached up and scratched the back of my soaked head.

"I could see that, well there's no use stalling I have brought clothes and make-up," He said as he signaled towards the two large suitcases by his sides, "so let's get this miracle make-over started!" He said as he started to barge in, but I blocked him immediately.

"Can you wait one second?" I said as I smiled kindly.

"Are you hiding something from me?" He asked as he glared.

"No! No! Of course not, what made you think that?" I asked as I looked straight into his eyes trying to pull out my best honest looking face.

"Well Karin, I have known you for seven years and I know that when you start to shake your left foot that means you're in a lot of shit and that you don't know what to do." He said as he looked down…damn he was good.

"Um, it's just a twitch." I said as I began to walk a step backwards carefully.

"Really?" He said as he let his suitcases down and folding his arms across his chest.

"Really." I said as I smiled and took the second step discreetly as I reached for the door and slammed it quickly in his face.

"KARIN KUROSAKI YOU OPEN THE DOOR THIS INSTANT!" Yumichika yelled as he began to bang on my door, it was a good thing that I lived in a penthouse and was the only door on the floor.

"I'm sorry, but please hold on a sec!" I said loudly as I ran towards the kitchen, grabbed a kitchen towel and a bottle of chlorine disinfectant and sprayed it over the trail of blood that was now dried. I began to dry everything up, and once the floor was spotless I ran back to the kitchen put away the disinfectant, threw the towel in the stainless steel trash can, and washed my hands in record time as I once again walked towards the front door and opened it revealing a very pissed Yumichika with his arms crossed.

"Come on in." I said as I stepped aside and let Yumichika come in with both of his suitcases.

"Hmm, everything looks normal…" He said as he placed the suitcases in front of the staircase and walked back towards the kitchen where I was now situated after I had closed the door. "I guess you weren't hiding something in the first place." He said as his mood began to brighten up. "So! About the outfits, I know how you are about long gowns, so I choose short dresses for you." He said as he jumped into the air and clapped his hands.

"That's great!" I said as I wiped the sweat drops that had formed on my forehead while Yumichika was too busy celebrating his tastes in the fashion department. "Do you want anything to drink?" I asked as I turned towards the refrigerator.

"Yes, some bottle water would do fine." He said as I reached for a bottle of Smart Water and gave it to him, closing the refrigerator door behind me.

"Well I'll go take a shower then" I said as I completely forgot that Toshiro was in the house and that the couch was filled with Toshiro's blood.

"Alright honey, tell me when you're done!" Yumichika said as he walked towards the living room. I climbed up the stairs quickly and ran to my room where I closed the door and began to strip myself of the now cleaned blue lingerie and silk robe, throwing them in my marble sink.

"AAAHHHH!" I heard Yumichika scream from the living room, running to see what was wrong I completely forgot that I was in the nude when I made it to the scene of a half naked Toshiro, and a frightened out of his life Yumichika.

"Yumichika! What's-"

"MY GOD HONEY! COVER UP!" Yumichika yelled as he covered his eyes with his hands, making Toshiro turned his face to me and visibly blushed through the bruises, making his nose bleed, and adding on to the injuries.

"Shit!" I said as I covered myself with my hands, which was of no use since my boobs were D's, and covering them up would be like hiding a yellow cab with a hand towel. "Turn around!" I yelled at Toshiro, as he turned I ran towards the guest bathroom, pulled a towel out of the drawer, and wrapped myself in it, walking out of the bathroom to see a speechless Yumichika and Toshiro.

"You're so gay Yumichika, I swear haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?" I said annoyingly as I joined in on the confrontation.

"When I was straight, which was eons ago, but now naked women disgust me." He said as he removed his hand from his eyes and looked at me again. "Karin, would you mind explaining to me why you have a half naked injured, and may I add sexy, man in your house?" Yumichika asked as he folded his arms.

"Well, this was the mess that I was referring to." I said as I pointed at Toshiro who couldn't look at me in the face. "He's an acquaintance of mine who got injured and came to me for help." I said as I looked at Yumichika.

"An acquaintance. It-" Yumichika started to say as he stared at me seriously.

"Shut it." I commanded, interrupting and shocking Yumichika. "Toshiro, I'm gonna go get something for you to wear, just wait for me on the couch, I'll be quick." I said after I turned to Toshiro and began to run towards the stairs. I came back with over sized black basketball shorts and a white T-shirt that I usually wore to workout in. "Here." I said as I handed them to him.

"Thanks." He said as he took them, turned around and headed towards the guest bathroom closing the door behind him once he was inside.

"How long were you planning on hiding him from me?" Yumichika asked as he pointed towards the guest bathroom with his right index finger.

"Well for as long as I had to in order to keep your big mouth shut." I said as I turned around and headed towards the living room, Yumichika walking close behind me.

"I can't believe you would keep such a rugged and amazingly beat yet sexy secret from me." Yumichika said as he walk in front of me towards the couch, before he screamed in shock at the state of the couch.

"You really like to scream a lot don't you?" I said as I covered his mouth with my right hand.

"Well if you weren't keeping so many secrets from me…I'm even starting to believe that this friendship of ours is a farce." He said as he batted his eyes as if insinuating tears.

"Ugh. Cut the drama will ya?" I said as I rolled my eyes at him. "So are you ready for the show tonight?" I asked as I grabbed the remote and turned on the plasma TV.

"Haven't you noticed?" He said, grabbing my attention, as he pointed at his outfit. He was looking amazing, as always, wearing a black long sleeved button down shirt, black slacks, and black leather shoes, his shoulder length hair was picked up in a low ponytail with a silver band.

"Wow, you clean up good." I said as I looked at him and folded my arms across my chest smiling at him as he turned around and started posing.

"I don't clean up good honey, I clean up great." He said as he posed seductively at me. "And now I need to clean you up." He said as he stopped posing and looked at me with disgust. "You do look horrible."

"Thanks." I said sarcastically as I began to walk out of the living room and towards the stairs in order to take a shower and wash my hair.

"DON'T WORRY HONEY I'LL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A MILLION BUCKS GUARANTEED!" Yumichika yelled from the living room as I reached my room, closing the door, unwrapping the towel on me, and walking towards the bathroom.

* * *

Thanks for reading!!!

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	2. Chapter 2

Hitsugaya POV

Once I closed the door of the bathroom, I walked over to the huge mirror that was still fogged over. I grabbed the towel that was around my waist and rubbed the mirror looking at all the damage that the Arrancar's had done to my body.

"FUCKING BITCHES!" I yelled as I slammed my right fist into the mirror, only receiving pain and idiocy from my part in return. I grabbed the shorts and slid them on while holding on to the counter of the marble sink, and once I had placed it carefully and loosely on my body I grabbed the white T-shirt and began to pull it on. 'Is it really worth it?' Karin's voice popped into my head. At the time that she had asked me that question I said nothing because I didn't know what to say other than the obvious. What could I have said in that situation? 'No it wasn't worth it.' Hah! Of course from any other perspective it wasn't worth it. But that wasn't the point, though, was it? The answer to that question would be to throw away everything I had lived for. My logic to this answer went deeper than usual; after all, guilt was a terrible thing to live with, wasn't it? It was what controlled my every action; because I was living the worst guilt of all…I could still remember the click of the trigger in that back alley. That split second before the deafening gunshot echoed in my ears, the sound that haunted me just behind every coherent thought that crossed my mind. One moment of sheer terror before that small body fell into my arms. That trembling hand squeezed between my own; the heat of flesh slowly turning cold as the life faded the hazel eyes, and the blonde vibrant hair turned grey. I could still hear Karin screaming out her name in pure agony and tears while two pairs of arms held her back as she struggled to get close to the dying body. I could still see the tears that poured down Ichigo's face as he cradled her head in his lap…I had witnessed the exact moment Karin had been shattered as her eye's slipped shut forever and Ichigo let out a bitter howl of resentment. The truth is I loved her as much as they did, if not more. She was my namesake, my second sister and best friend, my first love, the reason I was still alive until this day, and I was the reason she no longer was. I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger, but it was my fault that she had died that day. I had robbed her of life and there was no forgiveness to be had. I had known all too well and had come to accept it. But each time I thought about it, it made me angry…a violent, irrational anger that threatened to push me over the edge. It wasn't that I could never have it. No, I was angry because I was the only one who still held onto that memory of her.

"Unlike you, I can't forget her!" I growled, as my hands turned into fists against the marble countertop of the sink, my now clean fingernails digging into my pals. "I can't throw her away." I said angrily as I continued to pound my fist into the marble countertop, adding one more pain to the list of injuries that I was racking up. The pain was worse than the actual stabbing on my arm, and so after the constant pounding my weak knees buckled in on me and I went falling to the white marble tiled bathroom floor, as I clutched in vain the injury that was in my left arm. In my anguish I was sure I was howling in pain, but I couldn't hear it over the intense throbbing that was shooting through my arm and down to my fingers. Then the pain faded as fast as it had come, the cold floor washing away whatever it was that had been pressed on me. Through bleary eyes I looked up at the ceiling and was now starting to hear the loud and hard knocking on the bathroom door.

"Sexy man! Sexy man! Are you okay?!" Asked the panicked gay man that Karin was apparently now friends with through the door.

"Yea, I'm fine." I yelled back as I slowly sat up, as piercing pain shot through me, but I tried to not let out another yell. "I'll be out in a few." I said as I finally stood up, and looked at my battered face in the mirror…I was pitiful…

* * *

Karin POV

As I stepped out of the shower and dried myself, I wrapped a new towel around me and walked out into my bedroom where I grabbed nude lace lingerie, put it on, and walked downstairs. I walked towards the living room and saw that Yumichika wasn't there.

"Yumichika, where-"

"I'm over here!" He said making me turn around and walk down the hall towards the guest bath room.

"Why are you here?" I asked as I reached him.

"Something's wrong with your sexy friend." He said as he gave me a worried look.

"Toshiro?" I said as I knocked on the door. "Hey Toshiro, it's me Karin, open up." I said as the door opened a few seconds later to a dressed Toshiro.

"Mind telling me what's wrong?" I said as I looked at him skeptically.

"Nothing, I'm fi-"

"Tell me." I commanded as I interrupted him.

"It's her…unlike you I can't forget about her." He said before I slapped him across the face again.

"Don't ever say that again." I said as I hissed at him, apparently taking both him and Yumichika by surprise.

"I don't want to hear it, Kar." He said before looking at me as if he figured out that he had crossed a line that should have never been crossed with me.

"That's not my name." I uttered from the back of my throat.

"Karin…" Yumichika said worriedly as he watched our heated discussion, I turned around and started to walk away towards the living room with Yumichika following close behind me.

"Fuck you! She gave you that nickname!" Toshiro yelled from the bathroom, I turned around and saw that as he took a step forward he hit the floor hard face down. He had grown weak due to the blood loss.

"The name died along with her." I said as I turned around and continued to walk towards the living room. "Yumichika, be a doll and pull out the dresses that you have decided was best for tonight." I said as Yumichika scrambled towards the living room. I was going to tell Toshiro off before the front door opened.

"Karin?" Ichigo said as he walked in, closing the door behind him. Shit! Something bad is going to go down.

* * *

Hitsugaya POV

Karin was in her lingerie, and had just told her little gay assistant to get fetch her some clothes. I knew it! She didn't care at all about her…she had forgotten…

"Karin?" A familiar voice said, it seemed familiar even in my dazed state as Karin's figure began to blur in my eyes. The figure seemed like a blur of colors as it walked towards Karin but froze three feet away from her, the height was unmistakable.

"What the hell is going on?" The voice said a bit surprised and angry at the same time. The blurred figure looked at me and walked closer to Karin, towering above her. "Why the fuck is HE HERE?!" He yelled as he looked at me and pointed something at me, most probably his arm. Karin didn't even get a chance to answer as the blurry and recognizable figure lunged at me, punching me in the face. Ichigo had one hell of a punch…after that everything went black…

"Ugh…" I said as I woke up. As always it took a moment for me to realize where I was, as I looked around I saw that I was on the same couch that Karin had dropped me on earlier. Karin was nowhere to be seen and so was her brother…but they were heard.

"What do you mean you felt SORRY for HIM?!"

"Ichi-nii, I couldn't just leave him there-"

"Yes you could! HE'S NOTING BUT SCUM!"

"LOOK I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS YUMICHIKA IS WAITING FOR ME IN THE LIMO! CALL THE DOCTOR AND TELL HIM TO COME OVER!"

"IM NOT GONNA DO SHIT FOR THAT MOTHERFUCKER!"

"ICHIGO!"

"OOF! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU'RE STANDING UP FOR THAT BAST-OOF!"

"JUST DO IT!" Karin's order was followed by the slam of the front door. I groaned at the argument and noise and buried my head into the armrest that served as my pillow. My company was the dim city lights peeking through the draped windows. It was night out, I could tell. The distant sound of traffic was the only sound besides the steady tick of a clock on the wall that I heard after the slam of the front door. I began to let the distant ache of my body lull me back to sleep and let my eyes slowly drift shut.

* * *

Karin POV

"You still look fabulous." Yumichika said while we were in the limo as he tried to make conversation with me. I refused to speak due to the fact that if I did I was going to blow up on Yumichika, and I really didn't want him to look beaten up after he had made himself up too. "Karin look," Yumichika said, as I looked at him holding a black velvet pillow that belonged to the limo. "You could always take out your aggressions on the pillow." He said with a smile.

"I don't want to hurt you." I growled, sounding angry instead of sympathetic.

"Don't worry." He said reassuringly.

"Alright." I said as I began to punch the shit of the pillow so hard that ripped open, I was so mad that I ceased to hear the yells of Yumichika, until he grabbed both my wrists snapping me out of it.

"KARIN! CALM DOWN! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Yumichika screamed into my face for the first time in over five years. I was shocked and hurt.

"I'm so-"

"I don't want to hear it.' Yumichika interrupted as he let go of my wrists and turned to face the window sitting farther from me than necessary.

"Yumi…come on." I said as I sighed.

"Don't Yumi me…you know better than to let your anger get the best of you on a night like this." He said as he crossed his arms across his chest and continued to face the window.

"Yumi…you know I love you…come on…" I said as I began to sit closer to Yumichika, receiving a side glare from him on behalf of the now close proximity. "Please forgive me…you were right…" I said as I begged giving him the puppy dog pout, but he refused to even look at me. "Come on Yumi, if you don't forgive me I'll do something horrible." I said finally getting his attention.

"Like what?" He said as he side glared at me.

"I'll cry." I said threateningly.

"You wouldn't dare." He said as he turned his head to fully look and glare at me.

"Try me." I said as I returned his glare, which continued for about five minutes, until Yumichika gave up.

"Oh, alright, I forgive you." He said as I jumped with glee and hugged me. "Darling you know I would hug you back, but I don't want to get my clothing wrinkled…" He said as he looked at me as if telling me with his eyes 'bitch you better get off my clothes before I smack you!' I complied and received a smile from his part. "Thanks you darling you're so thoughtful." He said as he turned his body around to fully face me, happy once again.

"We're here." The limo driver said as he pulled down the window between the driver's side and backseat.

"Yay! You are so gonna receive praise for your line and your outfit! And who are you going to thank when they ask you about your whole ensemble?" Yumichika said as he smiled and looked at me with childish gleeful eyes.

"You…" I said seriously, but smiled in the end due to the contagious giddiness of yumichika. The door opened and the driver offered his hand to me as I got out, fixed myself, and began to walk on the purple carpet as camera lights began to flash and people began to call my name. I stopped and waited for Yumichika, whom was taking his sweet time to pose and blow kisses. Heh, some things will always stay the same wont they…

* * *

Hitsugaya POV

I felt something cold on my forehead, as I woke up I saw Ichigo glaring at me as he held the icepack on my forehead. By his glare, everything came back to me, I was still in Karins house. I tried to sit up but he put his hand on my chest,

"Don't do that you'll rip open the stitches." He said angrily.

"Stitches?" I said hoarsely.

"Karin made me call a Dr." He said as he looked out into the now open window, which showcased all the city lights, "The Dr. gave you about five I.V.'s and stitched you up like the cursed voodoo doll that you are." He said as he looked back at me and glared. He stood up and let go of the bag of ice, placing it steadily on my forehead. "She should be getting back now." He said as he looked in the direction of the hallway, and looked back at me to glare once again. "Don't do anything stupid and don't become a pain in the ass for Karin, if you do I'll make sure that the pain that you felt before was nothing compared to what I'll give you." He said as he began to walk past the couch, down the hall, opened the door, and closed it. So Karin made him call the Dr. huh? I looked up at the ceiling and had nothing to do. Everything was getting pretty boring; I looked to my left and saw that there was the remote for the plasma TV on the coffee table. I reached for it and managed to get it without any major pain.

"This is channel seven news, Good evening I'm Yoruichi Shihoin." The tan skinned woman said, she had her hair loose in waves past her shoulders, her bangs were full fringed and she was wearing a black blazer with a pastel blue button down shirt underneath. "Tonight we will be showing clips of the fall fashion show here in Tokyo where world class designers showed their lines. Take it away Rangiku."

"Thank you Yoruichi, behind me at the Budokon stadium was the fashion show of the season, and a memorable night." Rangiku said, the woman had her strawberry blonde hair picked-up and was wearing a silk red top that showed off her cleavage, as the TV began to show clips of the day with a voice over done by Rangiku herself.

'Where we find a young 24 year old voluptuous designer who has been named the sexiest woman alive by many magazines, Karin Kurosaki…'

Once I heard that my full attention was turned towards the screen as they showed Karin walking down the purple carpet with that gay assistant of hers. She looked gorgeous, the short and fitted strapless red dress showed off all her curves, and her waist length hair was curled into beautiful tresses…she looked like a damn goddess.

"You look amazing!" Rangiku said as she interview Karin on the carpet.

"Thanks sweetie! You too!" Karin said as she hugged the said reporter.

"What are you wearing tonight?"

"Well this short cocktail dress is by Herve Ledger, and the heels are by D&G." Karin said as she posed.

"I love it, you look amazing! I'm so looking forward to your new line Yuzu." Rangiku said as she passed the microphone back to Karin's face.

"Thanks sweetie, I hope that this all goes well." Karin said as she smiled at the camera showing off her luscious red lips and perfect white teeth.

"Well I wish you the best honey," Rangiku said as she leaned in and hugged Karin, Karin hugging her back, "have a great evening!" Rangiku said as Karin let go and waved bye to camera and continued to walk down the carpet. She hadn't forgotten…she was still thinking about her…I was about to continue watching until I heard a knob opening. I quickly turned off the plasma TV, set the remote on the coffee table, and stared at the ceiling. The door opened and closed, and I heard heels walking towards the living room. She neared the couch, turned on the lights, and sat on the coffee table. I looked at her beautifully made-up face and her cleavage and curvy figure in the red dress. The malice was gone from those onyx eyes, and the usual sereneness had returned to her gentle features.

"How are ya feeling?" She said as she grabbed the icepack from my forehead.

"I've felt better." I said as I received an eye roll from her part. "But I do feel better." I said as I looked deeply into her eyes. "You look good." I said receiving a smile which brightened her beautiful face.

"Thanks." She said as she stood up with the ice pack in her hands. "Do you want anything?" She asked as she started walking towards the kitchen, giving me a chance to check her out fully. She certainly grew into her body after eight years. Her boobs were at least D's, her waist was small and defined, and her ass was huge.

"I want a beer." I said in a demanding tone.

"You have concussion on top of concussion by now, I'm sure." She said from the kitchen as I heard a refrigerator door open. "All the antibiotics are already effecting your live, and beer would just kill you. But I'd be happy to get you one anyways." She said as I heard the refrigerator door close. Karin walked back with a water bottle in her hands and handed to me, I reached for it with my only good hand which was bandaged, and threw it on the floor. "I want food." I said as I expected another sarcastic comment from Karin. But I was given silence instead, as I closed my eyes. I could just imagine the look Karin was shooting at me. Eventually I heard her walk away, and by the looks of things most probably she had gone to sleep. I slowly tried to fall asleep again, but was brushed awake by Karin shaking my injured shoulder.

"Fuck, what do ya want?" I growled as I swatted away Karin's annoying hand. Karin apparently had no consideration whatsoever for my condition. She rather seemed to be enjoying causing me more pain, or ultimately didn't care altogether. Either way, at this point, I felt like a punching bag. I opened my swollen right eye, which was swollen no thanks to Ichigo, and found that Karin was sitting on the table with a bowl of chicken broth in her hands. The probable shocked look on my face made her smile. But I couldn't help it though, simply because I had been slapped, glared at, bitched out at, punched in the face, and then glared at again, and an act of kindness from the woman was the last thing I was expecting to see. My annoyance at this fact made it impossible for me to accept the generous offer, even if it was more than I deserved. I stared at the bowl and then blinked.

"Where's the rest of the chicken?" I asked as Karin's face contorted with a look of irritation, a flash of anger returning to her eyes due to my question.

"Just for that, you're not getting this." Karin seethed between her teeth, standing from her makeshift perch on the coffee table and heading back towards the kitchen.

"Wait." I said suddenly sitting up, as I ignored my cracked ribs and stitches as they protested against my sudden abuse, and made a grab for Karin's hem of her dress. "Kar, I'm sorry." Karin didn't turn or bother to look at me. With her back to me all she did was shake her head.

"Karin." She said as she corrected me. "And you're still not getting any."

I flinched inwardly and let go. That hadn't been what I meant. "I'm sorry." I said again, this time my voice was more distant, as I began to speak to her. I settled back down into my nest on the couch and pulled the covers back up over me to fend off the sudden coldness I felt. "You'll always be Kar, no matter what you say." I said as Karin continued to walk towards the kitchen not bothering to tell me anything, leaving me alone and hungry on the living room couch.

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

Karin POV

It had been a week since Toshiro arrived with Dennis at my front door, a week since my inevitable tantrum, a week since my brother had thrown his fit and knocked Toshiro out…and it has taken almost that long for the two of us to come to terms with each other.

Ichigo had been absolutely furious to the point that I had to pull him off of Toshiro just to keep him from beating the white haired man to death with his bare hands. The following events had consisted of a night of Ichigo screaming at me, and me screaming back at him, forcing him to call a Dr. and leaving to my launch of my new line. I was being forced, not entirely, to listen to all the points and reasoning that my own mind harassed me with. Yes, I knew I was stupid for even considering taking Toshiro in. I knew all too well that I should have thrown him back out into the street. I already knew for certain that taking care of the white haired man would cause a lot of unnecessary trouble. I didn't need to hear it again, but Ichigo told me anyways. Turning Toshiro down at the door, along with Dennis who went through the trouble of lugging him around, when he was half dead would have cruel. I had already made up my mind to keep Toshiro in my care until he at least could wake up and leave on his own accord. Ichigo, unfortunately, didn't feel the same way. While I understood my brother's anger, in the end I had been forced to take Ichigo's key to my apartment; for Toshiro's safety, of course. Ichigo had given up only after a brief fight over it, then he slapped the key into my right hand with a childish sneer before he left the day after my launch. A week later I was in the middle of the produce isle in the grocery store, looking at all the vegetables and picking what to get, and whether or not I should buy in bulk. Meanwhile Ichigo was reading a magazine about men's fitness and was leaning on the shopping cart. I was at ease to stay that way, ignoring the various comments Ichigo made about the magazine and whether he should try the new advertised diet or not. I decided to buy in bulk since I was going to have a ton of interviews tomorrow and was going to be a guest judge on 'Tokyo's Project Runway'.

"Do you really need all this?" Ichigo asked as he put down his magazine, set it on the baby chair section of the cart, and rummaged through the produce that I had just placed in the cart.

"Yes, we all have to eat don't we?" I said sarcastically as I began to walk towards the fruit stands, while Ichigo followed closely behind me with the cart, placing his foot on the axle of the wheel and sliding the cart past me in order to gain speed, and then returning to me and composing himself as an adult after his childish rush of energy.

"I'm guessing all of this food isn't for you." He said as he looked at me skeptically. "So, how's he coming along?" He asked while looking at the left side of my face. I completely froze while grabbing the fifth green apple, but regained my composure and placed it in the bag while I continued to fill it up, I need about 15 apples.

"I don't know." I said honestly as I turned around, took a step towards the cart and placed the bag inside.

"Well…that's Toshiro for you. He's always been like that." Ichigo said as he looked into my eyes seriously, as if trying to tell me that there was still time to throw Toshiro out of my house.

"He's looking better," I said as I turned around and walked towards the stand, grabbed a plastic bag and began to grab some oranges, "his stitches aren't red, the tubes were removed two days ago, and he's started to scratch them even though I tell him not to." I said as I continued to pick oranges.

"Toshiro and listening to a command will make a beautiful couple." Ichigo said sarcastically, to which I snorted in response realizing that he was right.

"Bro, what am I going to do?" I asked helplessly, as I turned around, took a step towards the shopping cart, and placed the bag inside. "And don't tell me to throw him out, because you know I won't do it." I said seriously as I received an eye roll from Ichigo.

"Well lil'sis, what do you want me to say?" Ichigo asked seriously as he looked into my eyes. "No matter what I tell you, you'll do the exact opposite. You always have, and you always will." He said as he grabbed his magazine again and flipped through it to find the page that he was reading before he began to talk to me seriously.

"What?" I asked incredulously, crossing my arms across my chest for emphasis. "I do not." I said while I stared at him in a glare, but all he did was sigh and continued reading. "Gimme that!" I said as I snatched the magazine from his hand, rolled it and continued to cross my arms.

"Hey, I was reading that…" He said as he looked at me exasperatedly, and sighed while he rolled his eyes again.

"I don't care." I said while I continued to glare at him receiving another sigh from his part.

"Karin Kurosaki, you are the most stubborn person I know, and I've known you since you were born, I mean hey we're related. But the truth is, you already know what I'll suggest, and you won't do it, so why are you so insistent on bothering me for advice on your current mess?" He said while staring at me. Realizing that he was right, I sighed in defeat, uncrossed my arms, and bowed my head while I extended my arm for him to grab the magazine he was reading.

"Thank you." He said as he snatched it and opened it. I stood up correctly and stared at him, making him drop his magazine and close it. "What?"

"Do you really hate him that much?" I asked as my eyes locked on his face.

"Of course, don't you?" Ichigo said as he refused to back down from my stare and challenged it instead as if he could find the answer that he was looking for from my facial expression. I grimaced visibly, our eye contact broken as I looked away from my brother.

"I wish I could." I said as I lowered my head ashamed of what I had just said.

"Then why are you doing this?" Ichigo asked, this time in a softer, more understanding tone. I opened my mouth to say something, but shut it before I could speak. Words I didn't mean formed in my mind, but the truth was nowhere to be found. I shook my head in a disbelieving manner, as I turned around from the cart, walked back to the stand, grabbed a bag, and began to pick pears. "I really don't know." I said while counting the pears mentally.

"He's like a kicked puppy, isn't he?" Ichigo said as he was obviously sparing me the embarrassment of my helpless admittance. He leaned against the cart so that he would be closer to me, and looked up at me strangely as I turned around and took a step to the shopping cart, stopping me from putting the bag in the cart. "You can't abandon him, can you?" I silently nodded. It was true, that's what I felt when I looked at Toshiro.

"Yeah, he's like that isn't he?" Ichigo said as he stood up straight, his voice seeming distant. I placed the bag into the cart and stared at him, as he was lost in his own thoughts.

"Bro?"

"Yea?"

"Do you still feel that way about Toshiro? I mean, you guys were friends since you guys were toddlers and-"

"I can't afford to feel that way." Ichigo said simply as he interrupted my rant, he didn't want to listen about their long friendship. He turned the cart and began to walk away, waving for me to follow him. "Don't you need to buy more food?" He asked as he turned his face and smiled at me, something he had stopped doing ever since the arrival of Toshiro in my home. I didn't push him for an explanation, I could pretty much guess what the reason behind it was, and it made me think a little better of my older brother. I finally got all I needed and checked out, paying with my visa check card. I grabbed the receipt and my card, put it in my pocket of my grey wash skinny jeans, and grabbed the cart pushing it to the exit while Ichigo walked beside me. It was truly a wonderful day, the sun hit me full force once I walked out, which was the reason why I wore a white tank top today and white flip flops. Meanwhile, Ichigo just wore a white t-shirt and dark wash straight legged jeans with white converse…we always weirdly matched for some reason, which made me smile. As we reached my black Mercedes Benz, I pressed the unlock button on my car's keychain, and put it back in my pocket as Ichigo went ahead and opened the trunk of the car.

"You know if he ever disrespects you, all you have to do is call me and I'll be there in ten seconds tops." Ichigo said once I put the last bag in the trunk and he closed it.

"Stop being stupid, I can protect myself." I said as I walked towards the driver's side and Ichigo walked to the passenger's side. "Besides," I said as I opened the door and got it, Ichigo following my movements, "I think he has gone through a lot of abuse lately and I doubt that he would be stupid enough to even try me." I said as I closed the door behind me, buckled myself in, and placed the key into ignition.

"Well you never know, Toshiro can try something on you…AND I SWEAR-"

"Yea, yea, 'you'll kick his ass' I know, I know," I said as I began backing up out of the parking spot. "Calm down Rambo." I said with a laugh as Ichigo started complaining about his new nickname, while placed the car in forward and sped out of the parking lot.

* * *

Hitsugaya POV

"Ugh I hate mornings." I said as I woke up from the morning sunlight, no thanks to Karin, whom left the living room window open with no curtain blockage. I reached for the remote control on the coffee table and turned on the plasma, but weirdly enough I felt something covering the buttons. When I looked down I saw that Karin had left a note:

_Hey Toshiro,_

_Sorry I won't be able to make you breakfast today but I figured since you're being such a lazy bum lately that you wouldn't care whether you ate or not as long as you got to watch TV. Hence, the sticky note from which I'm writing this message. Let's cut to the chase, I've got to get going anyways; I'm going out to spend time with my brother. I'll be back by lunch with groceries; in the meantime I want you to behave yourself. Don't break anything because you already owe me enough, you got that? Well anyways, take care. Oh, and don't scratch yourself. _

_Sincerely, Karin K._

"My god she didn't leave me a note she left me a fucking essay." I said as I ripped off the light blue sticky note, crumpled it up and threw it near the window. "It's not like she'll notice right?" I said as I turned on the TV to CNN, it was 9:30 a.m., and they were reporting something about economy deficits. "Shit, I better go pick that up." I said to myself once I realized that she would most probably bitch me out for messing up her apartment. I got up as slowly as I could since I really didn't want to reopen my stitches and have tubes inside again…ugh, the near thought gave me goose bumps…as I walked towards the window and bent down to pick up the paper, I had the desire to open the window and see the city from the privileged side of town…the side of town that scum like me shouldn't belong in.

"Eh, I don't see the big deal." I said once I managed to open the window, letting the fresh air inside. "It's just a city, and a crowded one at that." I said as I began to turn around and walk towards the kitchen to throw away the crumpled sticky note in the stainless steel garbage can.

"Damn, I'm hungry." I said as I pat my growling stomach and walked over towards the refrigerator door. I opened it and realized that there was only carton milk. "Might as well." I said as I grabbed it, opened the top, and drank directly from it, as I closed the door. "The damn bitch." I said as I wiped my mouth with the back of my right hand. "She only left me about a fourth of a cup of milk, why I outta-" My rant was interrupted by a picture of Karin and her…I reached out in front me and touched her smiling face as she held onto to Karin in a tight hug…"Shit." I said as I felt the tears begin to fall, I couldn't see the near image of her, due to the fact that it was all my fault that she died…"I'm sorry…" I said in a whisper as I grabbed the magnetic picture frame, containing the picture of both of them, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you…" I said as I began to walk to the couch, which was proving to be impossible due to the fact that my newly formed tears were blurring my eye sight.

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Karin POV

"Just put the last bag there, I'll take it from here." I said to Dennis as I opened my door.

"Alright , but if you need anything-"

"I know, I know, I'll call you Dennis, don't worry. Thank you very much." I said, interrupting his sentence, as I leaned in on is face and gave him a kiss on the right cheek. "Have a nice day Dennis." I said as I grabbed five, out of the 20 bags, and walked into my home.

"Bye , you too." Dennis said quickly as he ran to the elevator seemingly blushing at my close contact with his skin.

"He's so cute." I said as I placed the five bags on the kitchen island, and walked back outside carrying five more bags until I had all of them in my penthouse, I finally closed the door behind me and began to organize all the grocery bags. Once every item of food was placed where it belonged, I walked towards the sink to wash my hands, and it was then that I noticed that the house was seemingly quiet. I wiped my hands with a hand towel, walked out into the hallway and towards the living room. It was quiet, and dark out since it was 8:00p.m., and the window was open letting some city air in followed by the sounds of honking cars, and bustling people. Obviously Toshiro had been up at some part of the day, or at least that's what it seemed like. All I could see was a ball of sheets and blankets.

"Hey, Toshiro." I called out softly as I approached the couch, receiving an incoherent mumble from him in return. I finally reached the couch and sat in front of his sleeping body on the coffee table. He looked quite endearing really, wrapped up in my bundle of sheets which I had given to him for keeps. With one hand tucked under his chin, like a child almost, he looked innocent. Like the Toshiro of the past, the Toshiro that was my brother's best friend, the Toshiro that was practically attached at the hip with my brother since they shared the same zodiac sign and year of birth, they were only a week apart in birthday dates…they had so much in common their friendship, it was meant to me. But then me and her came along, and Toshiro became our second older brother protecting us and taking care of us... The snow coloured hair was spread out across his face in a tasseled mess that hid his eyes, the perfect contrast to the tan coloured skin. The light pink line atop his forehead was the only thing that marred a near perfect sight, its stitches peeking out from a tuft of hair that had fallen out of place. I soon found myself smiling against my will. But I just couldn't help it, Toshiro looked so sinless. I reached down to brush away the strands of hair that hid those eyes, expecting to see a peaceful expression underneath. But my smile quickly faded as I uncovered hidden tears streaking down Toshiro's face. I paused, as I frowned down at what had been a perfect sight. To see Toshiro cry was an oddly attractive sight, one I couldn't take my eyes off of. But somehow, I could only think, from the back of my mind that I never wanted to see those out of place tears on his face again. They didn't belong…my hand fell from Toshiro's white hair to caress his wet cheek, the tears still warm against my fingers. I carefully and slowly brushed away each droplet until no traces were left to mark flaws on his slumbering features. I was about to rest my hand on his cheek, when I felt something hard and cold against my left hand, as I looked down I saw that Toshiro was holding a picture frame tightly to his chest with his right arm.

"Yuzu…" The word fell from Toshiro's lips in a soft murmur before he loosened his grip on the picture. I quickly and delicately grabbed the frame, and it wasn't long until my vision started to blur. It was a picture of me and Yuzu when I was in college. We were celebrating my graduation and I was so stubborn, I didn't want to take pictures due to the fact that I didn't even want a party in the first place…I was so stupid…If only I would've known I would've cherished every moment we had together before it was too late. I suddenly started to imagine her face, her smile, her pure and wondrous laugh that would make even the most senile old man smile…Yuzu…and there it was the stabbing pain in my chest, reminding me of that bittersweet memory. There was no anger inside of me…no, not at all…just a deep sadness that had made me numb all over. As I watched the white haired man for a moment, I forgot all my spite. There was only Toshiro before me. The one who grieved, just like me…just like Ichigo…The one who felt the same pain, the one who suffered as much as we did, there was no difference…no fault, no blame, no hatred between us. We were the same…fighting against a cherished memory that haunted us both.

Her death should've never been like that…

Yuzu had been a sweet, kind, and loving person. The kind of girl who always ran with the gang, but still held that caring nature…she was our everything…she held us together…Had we all really just abandoned her memory? We let her death tear us apart. We had let her memory corrupt and rot in our minds, let it destroy something that had once been so very precious. Now there was nothing left to show that she had never existed among us. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to see if the action could block out the image of her in my mind. I didn't want to see her, I didn't want to remember her smile, I didn't want to remember that I'd never see that beautiful smile again, I didn't want to remember that she was buried in a wooden box beneath a name that was not truly hers.

Yuzu…

No matter how much I tried to forget, her memory would always come back to torment me. She would always remain a regret in my mind. A desperate feeling to change a past that could not be remade. I would always suffer at her hands…

I suddenly felt something warm touch my cheek, as I opened my eyes I realized that Toshiro had brought my head up in order to face him. "Kar," He said in a voice so soft, so exquisite, so like the Toshiro of the past…

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Hitsugaya POV

This wasn't the Kar that I knew. That was all I could think at the moment. Sitting before me with eyes shut tight, tears glistening down her face, Kar looked so different suddenly. Maybe it was because then, I finally realized just how much she was suffering. From the day Kar claimed that she would throw it all away, to forget about her, to live on like nothing had happened, I had resented her. I loathed Kar for walking away and damning her memory as if it were nothing. I hadn't been able to forget the cruel words that were spoken. I knew they were said in a moment of anger, yet I still desired for Kar to take it all back and deny that she ever meant it. I wanted to hear the truth from her lips, to make it all real, to prove that I wasn't fooling myself. Now here Kar was crying, while holding a picture of her memory, something I thought she would throw away. She was crying…crying for the person whose death hurt her the most. I could no longer hate her for that. I didn't need words to prove what Kar felt anymore, it was there in front of me. Or maybe she seemed different because right then, it was the first time I had finally looked right at Kar and saw through that image of the past. I didn't see Kar as I had eight years ago, but rather, I saw her as she was now. Through the haze of sleep, I watched Kar silently, taking in the person who I had once called a friend. My eyes roamed over the pale face and I was stunned by the tears, because even in sadness Kar looked beautiful. Her flawless skin was no longer the bronzed shade it once was, evidence that Kar no longer indulged herself in soccer or going to the beach like she used to. She was as fair as the stars in the night sky, a look that suited the dark brown hair that haloed her face, dropping down to her waist in a straight flow. My gaze had roamed over her voluptuous body that she had grown into in the eight years since I had seen her. But though her body was voluptuous it still maintained a firmness and muscular definition of the past, meaning that she still worked out. Her nails were painted black, and was now medium length. She was in the public eye now after all, and she had to maintain her appearance, something she never did before. But that time was gone now, and my gaze lifted back to Kar's face. The tears slipped through her eyes, her full rosy lips trembling ever so slightly as she tried to fight back but lost. I could only feel pity for Kar as I watched her cry into the picture. I had no right to touch her, but I did it anyways.

"Kar." I said softly, as I brushed away the tears so gently, so carefully, as if I could break the woman with the slightest touch. Kar really did look fragile just then. When her eyes looked at me, I was expecting the anger that I knew so very well. I was prepared to see the blame and I braced myself for the fury I was certain of. But I was rewarded with neither emotion, there was only suffering and understanding in those haunting grey eyes, which was changing color into a dark blue. Suddenly, nothing about them was different anymore. I looked at Kar and all I saw was the same heartache I had witnessed eight years ago. The same unbearable pain that tore us apart. Nothing else that happened mattered anymore. Kar hurt just like I did, and I no longer had it in me to hate Kar anymore for my futile reasons. Kar's lips moved, just barely to form words that were no more than a whisper.

"It's not fair is it?" She breathed in shakily, fresh tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. "To me…to you…to her. None of it is fair." Those words made the ache in my chest hurt all the more. I couldn't respond, but I didn't need to. I stroked Kar's cheek, my hand dipping below the chin to brush the sensitive skin beneath her lips before slipping into her ebony hair, so soft to the touch. I leaned up with no conscious feelings or thoughts and placed my lips against Kar's. I could feel her trembling against me, but I didn't fight it, rather I leaned forward, just a little. Her soft lips grating against my upper lip in a unique fashion that was not unpleasant. I kissed her, not because she was beautiful, not because I felt sorry for her, not because I was obligated to do it, but because it was all I could do. It was the only comfort I could give to Kar who had always been the most delicate out of all of us, even though she always put out a tough exterior. When I pulled away, I could taste Kar on my lips, a satisfying feeling I had not expected to be there. I fondly caressed Kar's face one last time before gently pushing her away.

"It will be over in the morning." That's what I told her. Go to sleep and this will all be in the past. Neither one of us could remember this when we awoke and then we could go on as we always had. That's what I believed nowadays. So why was the image of Kar still burning in the back of my mind? Why was I still awake, watching the slow approach of morning as it turned the sky from a sparkling black to a scarlet sunrise just beyond the open window? I had been unable to fall asleep and I found myself chewing on my bottom lip for the remainder of that night. I laid there on my side, my good arm and hand clutching the white comforter around my chilled body. I felt so cold but I knew I was warm from the heat of my skin. A fever. There wasn't anything I could fucking do about it though. So I was content on watching the sunrise as it turned the sky into a million brilliant shades of red and orange outlined by the soft blues that were beginning to take definition. It was a gorgeous sight for one who always managed to sleep through morning and well into the afternoon, but I couldn't find it in myself to enjoy the spectacle. I was obsessed by my usual thoughts. Only now it wasn't Yuzu that haunted me. It was Yuzu and Kar. Both of their faces had managed to take over my mind. Whenever I tried to push them back, to think of something else, to sleep, they would sneak back up on me once again. Normally, it might not have bothered me so much, except that whenever I remembered Yuzu's face, it reminded me of the suffering in Kar's eyes…those exquisite grey eyes. I found myself blaming Yuzu for all the tears that had been shed over her dead memory. It wasn't really fair that we were forced to suffer long after she was gone. With a half uttered grunt of discontent, I threw off the heavy blanket and slowly lifted myself off the couch. I wouldn't be able to sleep now, I felt too awake and my thoughts were too chaotic for me to attempt it. My body was still from the fact that I hadn't slept but it was finally healing, the bruises were yellow, while others were completely gone. The sites that had stitches were become less red and were now a dusty pink, and my ribs, which were broken, were somewhat healed but were getting there. My arm was better now, and I could now feel it, even though it had a shit load of bandaging and stitches. I'd live though. I walked through the hall towards the kitchen, my original plan being breakfast, but it was disrupted due to my sudden desire for coffee. Water wasn't going to cut it anymore, and Kar's and the Dr.'s previous warning about alcohol scared me away from the stock of wine and vodka that I knew Kar had in the cellar. I was sure that coffee wouldn't hurt me any, and there was bound to be some somewhere in the kitchen. Kar was a coffee addict, and always had been, and I doubted that had changed. When I opened the dark wash wooden cabinet door with stainless steel handle above the stainless steel microwave, my thoughts were confirmed. There was at least twelve different blends of coffee for the choosing. I chose a French roast mix, the one that was the closest to my reach. What it tasted like didn't matter a fucking bit to me. So long as it was caffeinated I would drink it. I prepared it and was patiently glaring at the coffee maker, watching as each drop of brown liquid fell into the white glass container, when my concentration was demolished. A thud from upstairs, most probably Kar's bedroom, struck me as odd for some reason, so I tore myself away from my visual post on the kitchen island and stuck my head out of the kitchen walked down the hall and towards the stair where I leaned and saw that Kar's door was still closed. But when I heard no further sounds coming from the bedroom, I grew worried…

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	4. Chapter 4

**I saw that some of you really liked this story and lately I've been pretty inspired to write so I've decided to update after so long...I'm sorry for the delay for those of you who have followed this story since the beginning (for that I Thank You)...and for those of you who are taking the time out to read this thank you and please review. You don't know how much inspiration/encouragement reviews give me to write. Thanks again and enjoy.**

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**Toshiro POV**

I quickly climbed up the stairs and walked towards Karin's room carefully…almost as if any noise would create a more dire situation from the ones that I had seen in my mind. I leaned the right side of my head on the white French door of her bedroom and tried to listen with futile efforts to what was occurring on the other side of the door only to be met with the beating of my heart which was practically ringing in my ears…what the hell was going on?

"Karin…" I said rather softly while my head still leaned on the door.

"Karin…" I said a bit louder as I heard nothing…shit…

"Karin..Karin" I said as I turned the side of my head away from the door and began to knock on the door roughly. "Karin open the door, damn it." I said louder as my heartbeat began to race, the ringing in my ears getting louder as the skin on my forehead began to form beads of sweat causing the stitches on my forehead to sting slightly.

"Karin…if you don't open this door I'm going to kick it down you hear me?!" I said loudly as my knocking became erratic. "That's it" I said to myself as I took two steps away from the door before taking one step as an impulse and using the other step to kick the door down.

"Karin?" I said as I searched the room to find no trace of her. The rather large room was brightly lit due to the large wall-like window that directly faced the door. The thick dark purple curtains were pulled to the sides showing a king sized bed that was made neatly with about four accent pillows set on top of it, two nightstands which were white and had princess type detailing with bronze handles and black geometric lamps that rested on them and a white wardrobe that had a plasma hanging from the wall above it which faced the bed…where was she?...I looked around the room once more to find another french styled white door to my right, and through the bottom of the door I saw a shadow…movement…she must be in there…I slowly walked up to the door and placed the left side of head to hear at least some form of life…

'drip'

'drip'

'drip'

"Just drops…" I whispered to myself as I slowly began to visualize what looked like a bath tub filled to the brim with water and a pale hand sticking out from the edge…"Shit! KARIN!" I said aloud as I placed my right hand on the door knob and turned it quickly, opening the door to find a rather large white marbled bathroom...my eyes immediately caught the sight of a white bathtub filled to the brim with water…the sun shining brightly through a window sending rays towards the water that was filled with suds…but without a body…my heart began to race again…what had she done?...had she drowned herself?...the ringing in my ears came back with a vengeance as I began to take slow steps towards the bath tub.

"This can't be true…She just can't do this…" I said to myself as the sweat began to form on my forehead once again…she was gone…and I let her die…just like I did to…

_Her shoulder length golden strawberry blonde hair flew in front of her head after a deafening bang…it happened so fast but as she falling it seemed like ten years had gone by before she hit the concrete with a sickening crack…her face was still agape…her eyes which used to be a vibrant hazel were now dull and grey…her flushed cheeks were now pale…and the humid and grimy air became filled with the fresh smell of metal as the red liquid began to gather around her head…_

'SPLASH'

My flashback was interrupted when I heard something…I looked directly at the bath tub to find the water flowing out from the edges…and within seconds a body rose out of the water…she quickly flipped her black mane back towards her back before she wiped her eyes…she was a vision…a goddess really…her curves were perfect…her waist was tiny…her breasts were the perfect tear drop shape…and her skin was perfectly creamy without a single mark or—wait what's that?...on her ribcage there was something written…what looked like a tattoo…but Kar was never into tattoo's…unless if-

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" A loud scream said to me which took me out of my daze and quickly sent my attention to her grey eyes and I could feel myself blush under her heated stare…shit…this is not good…

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**Karin POV**

"_Do you really hate him that much?"_

"_Of course…don't you?"_

I don't know…Why do I hesitate to kick him out…What's wrong with me?...it's just whenever I see those teal eyes…

"_Why are you doing this?"_

Why am I doing this?...Why am I bothering to help a man who's not even worth my time…A man who should be put behind bars but managed to escape the cops…

"Why am I so bent on keeping him with me?" I said as I looked up to ceiling and laid my head against the cold edge of the bathtub…it seems futile to me…no matter how many times I try to find reasons to kick him out…I just can't…

"I fucking hate myself!" I said as I grabbed the bar of soap and threw it towards the ground and watched as it danced across the marbled floor before stopping at a lavender rug that I had placed in front of the sink…I just needed to think to myself…I needed to get him out of my mind…for only a minute…I quickly took a deep breath, closed my eyes and went under water as I tried to take him out of my mind…

_His lips…so smooth…minty even…why am I thinking about him…it was only a kiss…it had no meaning…and coming from a person like him…it doesn't…_

I could feel my chest begin to ache…I had to breathe…I quickly sat up and stood up from my bathtub letting the water cascade down my body before I flipped my hair out of my face and rubbed the soapy water from my eyes…I needed a break from him…I needed to get to work and start designing again…the minute I opened my eyes a bit I saw white…WHITE?!...I opened them immediately to find Toshiro just standing there with some black basketball shorts on and nothing else…he seemed to be staring at me without a care in the world…the audacity!

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I screamed as I saw him blink a couple of times and visibly blush at the fact that I caught him…

"Uh…I can explain…" He said as he walked back before visibly losing his balance but catching himself in the nick of time by holding on to the door post.

"YOU CAN EXPLAIN?! MY DOOR WAS LOCKED! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DARE TO INVADE MY PRIVACY LIKE THAT AND JUST BURST IN?!" I screamed even more as I felt myself become red because I could feel my blood boiling…all he did was stare…becoming redder with each passing moment…Jeez…you'd think he'd seen a naked woman before…

"DAMN IT TOSHIRO! IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ANSWER ME THEN GET OUT!" I yelled as he seemed to not understand what I was saying.

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" I yelled as he finally managed to leave my bathroom and close the door behind him with a small thud…I was livid…and yet all I could do was stand there and yell…those eyes…that blush…why am I so weak around him?...

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**Forgive me if it's short...I have MASSIVE writer's block. -_-"**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Here's another chapter. :D**

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**Toshiro POV**

I was pacing around the kitchen, and at one point I decided to sit on the couch but couldn't keep still. Mainly because I knew that this was the end…all those times that I had been utterly rude and undeserving of Karin's kindness was nothing compared to this. To her most probably what I had done seemed as if I was nothing but a sick pervert dying for a glimpse of the forbidden when in reality all I wanted to do was to make sure that she was safe…but I knew that she wouldn't even give me a chance to explain..what with her Ichigo talks and his incessant blabbering about how she should kick me out, most probably she was just waiting for the case that would ultimately break the camel's back…and this was it…not only for our friendship but for my life…the minute I stepped out of Tokyo and went back to downtown Karakura my ass would be Arrancar's…

"What am I going to do?" I said to myself as I walked towards the stove and placed both of my hands on its corners…I've made a lifetime of bad decisions…and frankly-

"Shit." My train of thought completely stopped as I heard clicks coming down the stairs...I don't know whether I should get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness or just act as if nothing happened…but before I got to put anything into action she was already in the kitchen to m left serving herself some coffee. She was now wearing a red silk robe that covered her up until mid thigh and her hair was up in a bun.

"Hmm…French Roast Mix…my favorite." She said after she took a long apprehensive sip.

Instead of saying something I just chose to stay silent…maybe she was just waiting for me to talk to just say the magic words…I want you out…or better yet…get out…but nothing came. She walked past me towards the refrigerator opened it, closed it, and then walked towards the cabinets next to the refrigerator and pulled something out before setting it on the marble countertop. It wasn't until I heard the distinctive crack that my belly began to rumble…

"You want some?" She asked…I hadn't even bothered to turn around or even answer...

"I know you can speak…if you don't tell me I won't make any for you." She said as she grabbed something else from a cabinet and placed it in the bowl before she began to whisk.

"Yes." I said as I slowly turned around to find her whisking eggs up in a bowl…her face was serious…but she didn't seem mad…

"Would you like any help?" I asked as I neared her but stopped at around one foot from her…for safety purposes…

"Yea, can you get a frying pan from the third cabinet to the right of the fridge."

Maybe if I just became helpful for once in my life I could keep the only chance I have to survive in this world and be on Kar's good side. As I opened the dark wooden cabinets I was faced with dozen of pans…from stainless steel ones…to black ones…to green ones…Jesus…this woman has a world in here and she wants me to pick just one?! I quickly grabbed a red one and placed it to her left before she stared at it and began to laugh…it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard…and frankly the happiest I had seen her in years…

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**Karin POV**

"Yea, can you get a frying pan from the third cabinet to the right of the fridge." I said as I heard him begin to walk towards said cabinet and open it with a pause. He was nervous…and I know what he was expecting…even the dumbest person in the world would kick him out after that fiasco…but I couldn't find it in me…I had come down the stairs and into the kitchen determined to throw him out and say 'don't let the door hit you when you leave'…but when I saw him leaning on the stove like that it just tore me apart inside…he was scared…and his stance demonstrated it perfectly…I heard the cabinets close softly as footsteps approached me to my left. I quickly looked at the countertop to find that he had placed a red casserole pot there, and I couldn't help but begin to laugh…

"It's been such a while since I've laughed like this." I said aloud as I wiped the outer rims of my eyes. "This is a casserole pot…it's what you put in the oven for lasagna's and what not."

"What's a lasagna?" I couldn't help but start to laugh again before I looked at his face…he was serious…and that's when it hit me…Toshiro had been living in the slums for over five years…most probably depending on instant meals to satisfy his hunger…that is if he even had the money for it…of course he wouldn't know what a lasagna was or a frying pan…

"I'm sorry…I just-"

"No it's ok…trust me…my stupidity was worth seeing you smile." He said as he scratched the back of his head with his right hand. My face was beet red…how did he have that effect on me?...I quickly walked towards the cabinet and pulled out my black Teflon frying pan and placed it on the stove before turning the dial and cranking the heat to medium.

"That's a frying pan." I said before I went to the pantry and pulled out some olive oil and coated the pan with it.

"And this is olive oil." I said before putting it back in its place. "Pass me the eggs in that bowl." I said as I pointed to it before he handed it to me. I quickly poured half of the amount of scrambled eggs into the pan before I let it cook enough to the point where I could fold it. I soon grabbed a plate and slid the omelet effortlessly onto the plate and gave it to him.

"And that's an omelet." I said before handing him a fork.

"He quickly cut into it and then put it into his mouth before he completely dug into the dish with full force. He ate it so quickly I was amazed that the plate was still intact.

"Want another one?" I asked and all he did was nod his head yes…I couldn't help but smile to myself…he's this six foot tall, 28 year old man and yet at times he acted like the cute innocent Toshiro of the past…the one that everyone thought would be a business man…the one who had aspirations of owning the world…the one who lost everything due to his bad decisions and eventually caused all of us to break apart…

"I never thought you were a good cook…" He said randomly causing me to break from thoughts.

"I'll take that as a compliment. And I had to learn how to cook after…." The whole world seemed to have stopped as my memories became a haze that suddenly surrounded me…the fired shot…the head wound…the distant yells…and just darkness…I had to learn how to cook after she died because someone had to feed my father and brother…someone had to take care of them…I had to own up to the position that she had once occupied…not out of choice but out of need…the need to survive, to provide, and to forget…in anyway possible…

"Do you want another one?" I asked trying to change the subject but failing miserably since my voice cracked…my vision was clouding and I could now feel the stinging in my eyes as the tears began to pool on their edges before they finally ran down my cheeks in warm streaks…I couldn't cook anymore…and when I turned around to leave the kitchen he was a foot away from me…standing there his face serious…concern in his eyes as he also realized why I couldn't finish that sentence…I didn't know what came over me but I quickly walked over to him and placed my hands behind his neck before tip toeing towards him in order to capture his lips with mine. He placed his hands on my waist and the minute I felt the warmth from his hands my kiss became frantic…I began to use my tongue and fight his for dominance, his hands reaching down and grabbing my ass making me moan slightly before he carried me onto the cabinet…my hands began to search…caressing his scars gently as I could feel him tug the borders of my robe. I quickly broke the kiss and helped him with the task since I knew that he would be struggling due to his left arm…he then pressed his body against mine and began to kiss the edge of my mouth…then my jaw…and then my neck…I grabbed his hair softly, scared I would tear any of the stitched on his forehead as he began to suck and bite on my sensitive neck…I could then feel my skin begin to get hotter making the countertop feel even colder against my back than before as he began to trail kisses down my neck before sucking my clavicles and then proceeding to lick my cleavage line as I began to feel my red lacy bra straps go down and soon I felt a pull on my whole bra before the cold air hit my nipples making my buds harden at the sudden breeze they were hit with…He began to trail kisses towards my left breast before he grabbed the right one and began to knead it while he proceeded to put my left nipple in his mouth…I felt like I was floating…my mind was finally free from everything before…

'RING'

'RING'

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